Single Parent Living
A single-parent household means a family raising children under 18 with just one adult at the head, whether that parent is widowed, divorced, or never married. In the United States, roughly half of all children will spend some stretch of time living with only one parent before they turn 18. That works out to more than a quarter of all kids in the country.
The count has climbed a great deal since 1950. During the 1970s, a decade when divorce became common, about 11 percent of children lived with a single parent. The figure rose through the 1980s, hit its high point, then eased back a little in the 1990s, when close to 31 percent of children were in single-parent homes. By 2002 it had slipped slightly to around 28 percent. Plenty of those children stayed with one parent for a good while before that parent married again.
What drives these families has shifted over the decades. Around the middle of the twentieth century, most single-parent homes came about because a husband or wife had died. By the 1970s and 1980s, divorce had taken over as the usual cause. Come the early 2000s, the largest share of single parents had simply never married at all.
A number of single parents actually share a home with a partner, and in some cases that partner is the child's father who never married the mother. The Census Bureau still classifies these as single-parent families. The same goes for situations where spouses are separated for a long period, such as a parent sent away on military deployment.
Mothers living with their biological children remain the most common arrangement by far. Homes led by single fathers grew sharply during the 1980s, which tracked with changing ideas about a father's part in raising children. In 1970 only about 1 percent of children lived with a single father; by 2002 that had risen to 5 percent. Single fathers are far more likely to be divorced than never married, and they are more likely than single mothers to live with an unmarried partner.
The share of single-parent families differs quite a bit across racial and ethnic groups. Adoption by single people has also grown a great deal. In 1970 single adults made up somewhere between 0.5 and 4 percent of adoptive parents. According to the US Department of Health, that range jumped during the 1980s to between 8 and 34 percent.
Running a single-parent home brings its own set of hardships, and money is near the top of the list. In 2002, twice as many single-parent families as two-parent families earned under $30,000 a year. On the higher end, 39 percent of two-parent families pulled in more than $75,000, while only 6 percent of single-mother families and 11 percent of single-father families did. Children with single fathers also turned out to be less likely to carry health insurance.
Social scientists generally find that children raised in single-parent homes face disadvantages compared with those living with two biological parents. The risks tied to this group include lower educational achievement and roughly double the odds of not finishing school. These children are more likely to become parents during their teen years, receive less adult supervision, and run into more conflict with their parent or parents. They show a higher likelihood of early sexual activity, more frequent drug and alcohol use, and a greater chance of joining a gang. The data also points to about four times the risk of behavioral and emotional trouble, more involvement in crime, higher rates of suicidal thoughts and suicide, roughly double the chance of ending up in jail, and twice the likelihood of divorcing later on.
That picture is not the whole story. Research indicates that children stuck in a two-parent home with an abusive parent, or one who shows strong antisocial behavior, often fare worse than children of divorce or children living with a single, non-abusive parent. No two single-parent families look alike. A child whose parents divorced lives a very different life from one being raised by a widowed mother. For kids of divorce, the bond with each parent, and with the parents' new partners, varies widely depending on how custody is arranged.
Children from single-parent families may well face steeper emotional and financial struggles than those from two-biological-parent homes. Even so, they can absolutely succeed in school and keep up healthy relationships and behavior.
Being a single parent can feel isolating and heavy. There is often no second adult around to split the discipline, the decisions, and the bills. One person carries the job of finding reliable childcare while also earning a living. Still, living with a single parent usually does less harm to children than growing up amid family instability, discipline that comes and goes, and a missing sense of structure.
A few habits can make the experience better for your children. Line up childcare that stays consistent. Build a routine at home and hold to it. Make a point of knowing the people who matter in your child's life, including coaches, teachers, and friends. Apply rules and discipline clearly and the same way each time. When your child asks about the other parent, answer calmly and truthfully. Steer clear of anything that would make your child feel forced to pick one parent over the other. And be straight with them about what you can and cannot afford.
There comes a point where outside help makes sense. A parent who feels a child is spinning out of control, or no longer responding to anything they try, should reach out to social service agencies, mental health professionals, or the child's school. Parents who feel their own lives coming apart can turn to any of the many organizations offering emotional, financial, or legal support. - Erin