Explaining the 12 Steps to Healing

Spend an afternoon looking around and you will find a Twelve Step group for nearly every struggle a person can name: anger, depression, anxiety, overeating, gambling, sexual addiction, the list keeps going. The trouble is that a lot of people cycle through those programs for years, one weakness at a time, and some never make it past the first step. With so much attention now going toward holistic and organic ways of living, I want to walk through how the Twelve Steps of overcoming almost anything can be approached more simply.

When you examine your own problems closely, you usually find they are connected. More often than not there is a single root issue feeding the rest. That does not mean the whole thing is imaginary. Real physical symptoms can show up and may need their own treatment, but the origin still tends to be psychological. Learning to govern your own thoughts is one of the most liberating skills a person can build, because once you have it, moving through life gets noticeably easier.

So what do the steps mean for someone who isn't an alcoholic? Start with the first three and watch how one leads into the next. Reading life well is mostly about seeing how things flow together.

Step one is admitting we are powerless over various issues, or, simpler still, over the one underlying issue that sits at the center of them all. People call this the hardest step. If you genuinely want to change, it does not have to be.

Step two is recognizing we are powerless on our own. We were built to lean on one another. No man is an island, as the old line goes. That is not the same as being dependent; depending on each other for the sake of staying independent is a healthy arrangement. Unity is the underlying theme of being alive. Picture how much smoother things would run if we all learned to work side by side. 'Can't we all just get along?' If everyone applied these steps, world peace might show up without warning. Given where we are, you would probably have better luck with 'Can't we all just get coffee?' In any case, step two mainly points to God as the power greater than ourselves, though it can just as easily point to any organization He works through: a school, a correctional system, a psychiatric hospital, or any of the many Twelve Step groups out there.

If God really does come first, step three follows: we make a conscious decision to hand our life over to God as we understand Him. People do not share one picture of God. There are seven billion people and seven billion versions of God in their heads, and every one of those versions falls short of who He actually is. Even atheists carry a view, if only a view built on unbelief. It is curious how an atheist in a tight spot still cries out to God. Atheism may be less about rejecting God and more about not feeling a need for Him, but that is a whole separate conversation. For someone who doesn't believe, step three might land on a smaller god: the program itself, the steps, or a sponsor.

Back to working the steps holistically, which brings us to step four, the fearless moral inventory. This may be the toughest one, and it is also where we get to know ourselves, and God, more closely. It pays off more than any other. Self-reflection is exactly why so many people never move toward spirituality or real religion. They are afraid of themselves and what the search might turn up. That fear, self-condemnation, sits at the root of a lot of psychological trouble: anger, depression, anxiety. Get through this step and the rest comes easier.

Step five is confession, to God, to yourself, and to one other person, whether that is a close friend, a spouse or partner, a counselor, a pastor, or a sponsor.

Step six is becoming ready to let God remove these defects. This is usually the second hardest and asks for the most humility. Step seven is the humble request for Him to actually do it. Anyone familiar with Christianity knows the belief that God already took away the defects of humanity a couple of thousand years ago, which, on God's clock, might as well be a couple of days back. For the believer, the position to hold is that these defects get removed slowly, across a long stretch of time. Forgiveness does not erase consequences; we still have to meet them.

That is where steps eight and nine come in. First you make a list of everyone you harmed before recovery, physically or emotionally. Then you begin making things right. You may not pull it off in every case, but there is peace in knowing you made the honest effort.

By the time you reach steps ten through twelve, you mostly have the rhythm. Step ten keeps the moral inventory going. Step eleven is a commitment to growing spiritually with God, who is guiding us whether or not we notice Him.

The final step is the spiritual awakening, where we turn around and use the steps to wake others up. In Christian terms this is the Great Commission, a sending out to heal. If we work the root issue holistically, we only have to run the steps once to live a fuller, more balanced life. That root issue is frequently about managing our emotions, or our thoughts. Stress drives a huge share of society's ailments. Anxiety trails right behind it, keeping company with depression and often stoked by anger and resentment.

The shortest summary of the Twelve Steps: let go and let God, and stay in the present. That second part is its own spiritual discipline, the practice of meditation, or, put another way, this too shall pass. - Erwin Bishop