When Do You Cut Your Losses?

I woke up planning to clean out my office. Not to quit, at least not today. The idea was to clear out the clutter so there wouldn't be much to pack when I finally did walk away. Then I changed my mind and left everything where it was. I got dressed for work with a sour look on my face and told myself it was just another day.

Plenty of people carry that same weight when they report to a hostile workplace. My usual advice, and the advice most writers hand out, is to stick it out and fight to hold onto your job. Sometimes, though, walking away is the smarter move. Leaving a toxic environment does not brand you a quitter. And nobody outside of it gets to decide that for you, because they never had to sit across from the irrational behavior coming at you from your coworkers.

So what do you do when the thought of coming in starts to feel like dread? How are you supposed to feel when you have done nothing to anyone and the people around you still act like jackasses? Your mind churns through option after option. Eventually you land on giving up. Giving up is easy. That does not make it the right call.

When should you cut your losses? It's a fair question, and only you can answer it. Take your time with the answer. Nobody enjoys quitting anything. Our parents raise us to treat quitting as a cousin of failure. People will tell you drama follows you everywhere, so you might as well stay put. But a little peace of mind beats none at all.

Start by weighing the pros and cons. Do this with any situation, really. Don't decide anything while you are still angry. Sit down and write out the positives, then the negatives. I go through this exercise every time I am about to change something in my life. If the pros outnumber the cons, your work is to figure out how to chip away at the negatives rather than bolt.

Once you see that the good outweighs the bad, try out other responses before you react. Ask yourself whether every clash actually demands an answer. Does everything that lands on you require you to fire back? Think of a pothole you know sits in the middle of a street. You take a different road to get where you're going. Reacting to a problem at work can work the same way. Often the strongest response is to say nothing, or to just walk off.

Check whether you are the problem. This one matters more than the rest. Everybody wants to believe they are the innocent party. Be honest about whether your own actions put you in the mess you're in. After you figure out the real cause, build a plan to fix it, and if cutting your losses turns out to be the answer, plan for that too.

Quitting well takes a solid exit plan. I have gotten good at building them, though it came from practice and a fair number of mistakes. I spoke with a former coworker today and admitted I'm running into the same trouble I had at my last job: jealousy and intimidation. The difference this time is that I'm not firing back on impulse. I'm not playing the stereotypical ghetto chick. I had to learn how to pick my battles.

Follow the chain of command at the office, keep careful records, and stay calm. If calm and documentation don't get you what you want, stay calm anyway and never let the people around you see that their nonsense is reaching your work. Your exit plan should protect your reputation and your shot at the next job. If you need an ally inside to help you carry it out, find someone you actually trust. I have been lucky to find people who helped me and kept quiet about it.

In the end you do what is best for you. No one else can tell you whether staying in a miserable place is worth it. A lot of them will say stay and fight. You can also make your statement by leaving. Peace of mind is priceless.

Heather Browning, MBA, BA

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