The Necessity of Relaxation

Do you ever stop? If you're forever chasing overtime, inventing one more task around the house, or popping back up out of your chair the second you've sat down, odds are you aren't giving yourself room to rest. Say yes to even one of those and you've probably been skipping relaxation entirely. Until about a month ago, I couldn't have told you the last time I actually rested. I hunted for extra work. I stayed up into the small hours. Sitting still for any stretch felt impossible, and the moment I tried to do something for myself, guilt crept in, like I ought to be working or cleaning instead.

I know plenty of people live this way. In my case I think I picked it up at home. My father worked constantly when I was growing up, and he still does. On top of that, for most of my life I kept waiting for the day I'd finally outdo my sisters, or do more than them, so I could make people proud. That drive to prove myself fed the habit of pushing too hard.

What turned it around was a stretch of counseling and one genuinely brutal day. I understood then that doing well in life depends on being okay with myself, and I wasn't going to feel okay until I started changing things. No one else was going to make those changes for me. Learning to let myself relax was one of them. You can do the same in your own life. If you want a healthier, more contented way of living, rest isn't optional.

So what counts as letting yourself relax? Rest feeds so many parts of a person. If you're anything like me, you've carried a lot of stress and run high on anxiety. And a good deal of that we hand to ourselves, because we do have the power to change how we spend our days. Overworking, grinding ourselves down to nothing, that's a choice we can unmake, even in small doses.

Begin with fifteen minutes a day. At first you won't want to and it won't feel comfortable. Do it regardless. Even while you're sitting there convinced you should be up handling something, keep your attention on the one job in front of you: sit, and do nothing. Stick with it and the itch to get up fades. It took me eight days before I could just sit there without squirming.

Once sitting still stops feeling like a crisis, pick something that actually relaxes you. Rest doesn't come naturally to a lot of people, and it didn't for me. There are still days when I settle in and feel frustration rising because things need doing. When that happens I steer myself back and remind myself I won't like my day much if I skip this. The things I've landed on include crocheting, reading, napping, a hot bath, yoga, stretching, writing in my journal, and others. Find what suits you. Try one thing for a few days, swap it for something else, and keep going until you hit on a way to truly unwind.

Some people have to be taught how to rest. I was one of them, and I'm still learning. Before I figured any of this out, my days ran on a steady supply of stress and anxiety. Now I can carve out a little time and ease off before everything piles up on me. You can rest too.

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