Self-Esteem Boosters for Children

Carol McGraw, a reporter for the Sentinel, has noted that a girl's sense of self-worth tends to reach its highest point around age 9 (Heart of Leadership, 2015). From there it often slides, pushed down by media messages, shifting hormones, and the ordinary cruelty of peers. McGraw points to a striking figure: roughly 80% of children aged 10 and up carry a fear of gaining weight and "becoming fat." Obese kids, both boys and girls, usually report lower self-esteem than their peers who aren't overweight (Heart of Leadership, 2015).

Why bother shoring up a child's confidence while they're young? Because what starts in childhood rarely stays there. Low self-worth can trail a person into adult life, where it surfaces as trouble in relationships, friction at work, depression, phobias, anxiety, and even physical complaints. Children who feel good about themselves tend to go the other direction: they do better in school and feel more at ease with their families, their friends, and their own lives. Below are five activities you can try, each one built to give a child's self-esteem a lift.

Candy Toss. This one works well with a group. Have the children stand in a circle and hand each of them a few wrapped candies (Jolly Ranchers, Peppermint Patties, Werther's Originals, Hershey Kisses, whatever you have on hand). One child steps into the middle and names a positive trait about themselves. Any child in the circle who doesn't share that trait tosses a piece of candy to the one standing in the center. Rotate through until everyone has had a turn in the middle. When the game ends, the kids keep whatever candy they've collected.

Bragging Rights. Here's a group exercise that doubles as a keepsake. Ask each child to make a "brag book" filled with their accomplishments, talents, skills, and the things they're proudest of. Supply scrapbooking materials and walk them through turning the book into something they can hold onto for years. The idea is that they can open it again on days when they feel low or doubt themselves. Once the books are finished, go around and let each child share what's inside, one at a time. This works just as well with a single child at home; follow the same steps and have them show you their book.

How Many Compliments Can You Think Of? Give each child a sheet of wide-ruled notebook paper and have them write their name at the top (write it for them if they're too young). Pass the sheets around the circle. Every child writes at least two things about the person whose name is on the page: what makes them special, funny, smart, kind, cool, worth knowing. When the sheets come back to their owners, invite each child to read out loud all the compliments they received.

Five Things That Make Me Special. This is a quiet, journal-style activity for one child. At the end of the day, ask them to write down five positive things that were said or done to them, compliments, praise, a moment of recognition. Then have them read the list aloud. The point is simple: to remind the child, in their own words, how much they matter. Do it daily. For an older child, try a variation: have them write a letter to themselves spelling out what makes them special from their own point of view. Seal it in a stamped envelope and drop it in a public mailbox so it arrives the next day. They read it whenever they're feeling down. Repeat about once a week and save the letters in a bundle so they always have them within reach.

Look What I Accomplished. Think of this as a mental obstacle course, usable alone or in a group. Start with something easy for the child's age: coloring inside the lines of a coloring book, or writing their name on wide-ruled paper. When they finish, praise them, and mean it. Treat the small win like a real achievement. Then hand them a task that's a notch harder, and praise them again when they clear it. Keep raising the difficulty step by step. Vary the tasks so each one stretches them a little more, and keep encouraging them while they work. Over time you'll get a clearer read on where their talents lie, and they'll feel braver about trying things they haven't done before.

References: Education World. (2015). Ten activities to improve students' self-concepts. Family Education. (2015). Building self-esteem. Heart of Leadership. (2015). Statistics on body image, self-esteem & parental influence.