Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Personal Growth

We throw the word "narcissist" around casually. Someone on TV acts self-absorbed, and a character calls them that. In everyday use it points to a person who craves admiration and shows little empathy. The clinical picture is different. When narcissism rises to the level of a personality disorder, it stops being a quirk of temperament and becomes something that reshapes how a person functions.

This condition shows up in people across every personality type, and it can stall personal development in ways that are hard to work around. Relationships suffer. So does performance at school and at work, along with the ability to manage money. The common thread is difficulty connecting with others. A person living with the disorder feels let down and unhappy whenever the admiration or special treatment they expect fails to arrive, and that pattern tends to push people away. Treatment exists, though, and a personal development plan built area by area, covering each part of life the disorder has disrupted, can do real good as part of it.

Symptoms vary a lot from one person to the next. Most people never experience the full list, and the severity swings widely. Among the possibilities: an inflated sense of one's own importance, a habit of overstating talents and accomplishments, and a belief in being better than everyone else. Some expect others to go along with their wishes without question. Many struggle to notice, or simply refuse to acknowledge, what other people feel and need. The behavior can come across as arrogant and dismissive. There may be a persistent demand to be seen as superior, along with frequent fantasies about power, beauty, success, and brilliance. Using other people to reach personal goals rounds out the picture.

Nobody knows exactly why the disorder develops. Specialists point instead to a tangle of contributing factors. One possibility involves early relationships between child and parent, where either harsh, constant criticism or the opposite extreme of overindulgence may play a part. Biology and genetics also come into the conversation, specifically the link between how a person thinks and behaves and the workings of their brain. Men are diagnosed more often than women. The disorder usually surfaces during the teen years or early adulthood, and some children appear more susceptible than others to parental influences that can lead here, and to other personality disorders as well.

Reaching a diagnosis starts with closing off physical explanations for the symptoms. A primary doctor will run a full physical exam and review every medication the person takes. When nothing physical accounts for what's going on, the next step is a psychological evaluation. A mental health professional weighs the symptoms alongside the person's broader lifestyle and related factors, checking them against the criteria laid out in the DSM-5.

Several treatment paths can hold symptoms in check and make them easier to live with. Clinicians usually combine approaches so that a person can carry on in a reasonably normal way. Psychotherapy anchors the plan, and nearly everyone with the disorder takes part in it. The work centers on learning to relate to other people and building healthier relationships, while also uncovering what drives the emotions underneath so those negative currents can be countered. Medication sometimes enters the picture, though not for everyone, since not everyone is a fit. People who also deal with anxiety or depression may find anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication useful.

Getting a clear view of this disorder tells you a great deal about how it affects people of many different temperaments. Once the symptoms and treatments make sense, the value of working on personal growth comes into focus. A mental health provider can help shape that plan and support you when it's time to carry it out, setting goals that run in step with the rest of the treatment so the two reinforce each other.

References: Mayo Clinic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder; Melissa Schenker, writing on conscious relationships for The Huffington Post.