How You Can Beat an Anxiety Attack

Has your heart ever felt like it jumped into your throat? Have you ever been so short of breath you were sure you'd faint, or felt like your chest was about to split open? Those sensations are familiar to millions of people who live with anxiety attacks. The attacks are terrifying, and they strip away any sense of being in charge of yourself. I've dealt with them for 12 years. They come less often now than they once did, but there were stretches where they landed me in the hospital.

For most of those years I was convinced nothing would change. I figured I'd never recover and never learn to steer these episodes. That belief held until about a month ago, when a counselor pointed out something simple: the dark things running through my mind were only thoughts. I had the ability to turn a thought into a fact, or refuse to. Hearing that rattled me. For a while I felt like I'd thrown away huge chunks of my life to worry. But the past stays where it is, and I can't rewrite it. What I can do, and what you can do, is take hold of things starting now. It takes practice, and there are real ways to do it.

Anxiety attacks can pull a whole life apart. They strain relationships, and they lead people around you to assume the problem is all invented. I had a rough moment at one of my ER visits. A nurse looked at me and said, 'You can't be doing this. You have kids. You can't act like everything is falling apart.' I was furious. I refused to speak to anyone until they assigned me a different nurse. What she missed was that I wasn't putting on a performance. I genuinely believed what my mind was telling me, and those beliefs had taken the wheel. I know plenty of other people have been in that exact spot.

During that stay, which kept me in the hospital for six days, I picked up more about my own anxiety than I'd understood in all the years before. I want to pass that along, in the hope that others who go through these attacks can push back against them the way I've started to.

The best approach is to manage anxiety steadily, day to day. That doesn't always work out, though, so it helps to have a few things you can reach for when an attack is already building.

Catch the warning signs early. The second you notice negative thoughts pressing in, grab them before they settle. Once you've caught them, there are several things you can try. Picture your head as a chimney and let the thoughts drift out the top. Or write them on paper and burn the page.

When your heartbeat starts racing, stop whatever you're doing and breathe deeply, as many times as it takes to claw back a little control. After that, move into something that soothes you. Journaling is a good first option. A hot bath, a walk, or a puzzle all work too. Activities that swallow your whole attention, like a puzzle, are especially useful, because they pull you away from the anxious feelings for a while.

If dizziness or chest pain hits, lie down first. Then breathe slowly while writing out everything you're feeling. Phone someone if you have to, anyone you can just unload on. That kind of venting can do far more good than it seems to in the moment.

Once you've caught the symptoms and dealt with them, remind yourself that the thoughts in your head aren't true. You're the one who decides whether a thought becomes a fact. I've lost that ground so many times, handing control over to my own mind. Lately I've started naming the thoughts for what they are: lies. That naming is what gives me the room to turn them into something factual instead.

Here's one example from my own life. I was convinced my husband was blaming me for something I hadn't done. I told myself that thought was a lie. When I looked harder, the fact was that I had guilt tripped him into feeling bad, which is why he said what he said. I've been working on that pattern, and things between us have improved.

You can meet an anxiety attack face to face. You can beat it. Start with the steps above.