How to Support Victims of Childhood Trauma
Trauma hits hardest in the earliest years. When we talk about early childhood, we mean roughly birth through age six, a stretch of fast growth that also leaves a child wide open to harm. The wound can come in many forms: physical or sexual abuse, a natural disaster, medical procedures that hurt, watching violence at home, or exposure to war and terror. Two things make this kind of suffering so hard to address. A young child can barely put words to what is happening inside, and the whole scaffolding of their development leans on a basic sense of safety.
Stage theories of development hold that every age range has its own set of tasks to complete before a child can move on in a healthy way. For the very young, that is a tall order, since they depend on adults for nearly everything, from feeding to guidance. The first task after birth is relational: forming secure bonds with the people around them. To build those positive attachments, a child has to feel both safe and loved. Miss that, and the risk climbs for dysfunctional relationships later, distorted thinking, a shaky sense of self, and ongoing bouts of anxiety and depression.
These years also bring an astonishing burst of brain growth. The brain develops more between birth and age three than in any later window. Yet studies have found that children who live through something terrible this early can end up with a smaller cortex than children who do not. Why does that matter? The cortex, or cerebrum, is the brain's outer layer and its main structure. It handles memory, attention, language, decision making, awareness, and perception. Picture all of that running on less tissue. Those are the very functions a person leans on to grow and, down the line, to succeed.
You very likely know a child touched by this. One study found that close to half of all children between ages two and five had been through some kind of disturbing event. Among the kids who suffer, 78 percent go through more than one type of traumatic experience. The troubling part is how exposed these children are. They cannot read the world the way adults do, cannot shield themselves, and cannot see a bad event coming. That helplessness makes the whole situation painful for them and for everyone who loves them. Anyone in a supporting role should come at recovery with patience and real compassion.
Maybe you are close to a child who just lived through something unmistakable. The death of a parent or a friend. A car accident or a disaster. A diagnosis of childhood cancer or some other physical illness. The fact that the cause is obvious does not soften the blow or make the coping any easier. Or you might be close to a child whose behavior has turned sharply negative, and you suspect abuse. Cases like that are fragile and belong in the hands of professionals in both law enforcement and mental health. Even so, learning to spot the signs matters, particularly when a behavior is new or out of character for that child.
A few of the things you might observe in children who have been through trauma, broken down by age:
Ages 0 to 2: they startle at the smallest thing, cry far more than usual, throw tantrums that run long and intense, sleep badly, and pull away from contact.
Ages 3 to 6: they show heavy anger and aggression, struggle to sleep and have nightmares, chase attention of any kind including the negative sort, copy abusive behavior they have seen, and run into trouble at school.
Whether you already know the details of what happened or only suspect a child is hurting quietly, the first step is the same: bring in professional help. No two children cope alike. Each one will show a different mix of behaviors and symptoms, so the support has to be fitted to that particular child, which matters all the more during such a tender phase of growth.
There is a lot of reason for hope when a child has solid support around them. Protective factors include an engaged community, resilient parents, adults who understand what children need at each stage, social ties, and more. Everyone in a young child's orbit holds a share of the recovery: doctors, therapists, teachers and other caregivers, friends, and family. If you are one of those people, you have plenty of ways to help. The aim is steady, positive growth, built on a home that feels safe and predictable.
Answer their questions at a level they can grasp, and be as truthful as you can manage. Help them name and release their feelings in healthy ways. Keep the environment consistent, with clear expectations, routines, and schedules. Give them activities suited to their age and stage that let them grow. Hold onto a loving, patient, forgiving bond with them. Put safety plans in place. Fold them into traditions and customs that widen their circle and give them a sense of belonging. And reach outward, to a network of professionals who can carry part of the load.
- Melissa Lavery, M.S.
References: Early Childhood Trauma (2010, August), from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Lee, A., & Hankin, B. (2009, September 10), Insecure Attachment, Dysfunctional Attitudes, and Low Self-Esteem Predicting Prospective Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety During Adolescence. Protective Factors to Promote Well-Being, Child Welfare Information Gateway.