How to Get Motivated for Change

Motivation is the general desire or reason behind doing something. It's the push that gets us to act, sitting underneath nearly everything we do, good or bad. Everyone is driven by something. How much motivation a person has to change isn't fixed, though, and it shifts depending on what else is going on inside them.

Depression, anxiety, and stress can all drag motivation down. A flat, drained feeling is one of the recognized symptoms of both depression and anxiety. Stress works differently: it floods you with overwhelming thoughts and emotions that crowd out any urge to act, and over time that pressure can tip into depression itself. Oddly enough, the same pain can sometimes do the opposite. When things hurt enough, that discomfort occasionally becomes the thing that finally pushes a person toward something better.

Plenty of people already know what they want to change. What they're missing is the drive to take the first steps. Since how much you accomplish tends to track with how motivated you are, finding that drive is where any real change begins, and it's the entry point to a happier life.

Start by naming what you actually want to change. Write down everything on your mind, but keep it realistic and keep it specific. "Improve my health" is too vague to act on. Trade it for something like losing ten pounds, or cooking dinner at home five nights a week. And if your work schedule only leaves room for three nights of cooking, then three is your honest target, not five.

Next, build a plan for each item. Spell out the how, the where, and the when. Take cooking at home three nights a week: plan the menu on Sunday, write the grocery list the same day, hit the store Monday after work, then cook on Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Mark it on a calendar as you go, and give yourself a month before you check back in on how it's working. It helps to break things into short, medium, and long range goals.

Track what goes right. Write down the outcome you're aiming for with each plan, then follow your progress against it. A calendar, a scheduler, or a journal will show you where things are landing and where a plan needs a rethink. Small wins count. A step forward is still a step forward, however modest.

Reward the wins too. Say your goal was getting to church every week and you managed it for a month: go out for coffee or breakfast with people from church. If you ate well three days a week and dropped five pounds, maybe pick up one new piece of clothing. And if you did really well, perhaps something that fits a little better than it used to. Set rewards at the short, intermediate, and long term marks. Think you can lose eight pounds in two months? Then line up a two month reward to match.

Lean on people. Figure out which family members, friends, coworkers, or church acquaintances can back your change and keep you going. Telling them your goals puts a bit of healthy accountability on you. They'll also notice the small successes you might miss, and when a plan stalls, talking it through with one of them can help you spot where to adjust.

Being realistic matters more than almost anything else here. Change is slow, so go easy on yourself. Falling short on the first few tries isn't a reason to quit. Even well built plans tend to underperform at the start, and getting past that comes down to adjusting and staying with it.

When a plan flops, look at why. Did the time or the money not add up? Did something outside your control get in the way, like getting sick or being stuck working extra hours? If the reason was unusual, just adapt the plan. Missing the gym because you had the flu doesn't mean the plan failed. It means it got delayed, and delays are recoverable.

If the problem was simply low motivation, go back and find other rewards, short, medium, or long term, that will keep you locked in. Call on your support people to help you look at the plan again and stay pointed at the goal. Staying motivated takes time, practice, and patience, and the payoff shows up later in a life that feels better. - Kim B.