How To Achieve Happiness (Part 2)

Open a dictionary and happiness comes back as something clinical: the state of being happy, good fortune, pleasure, contentment, joy. Useful, maybe, but it skips the hard part. What counts as happiness for you is personal, and it almost never matches the person sitting next to you. Most of us want it. Fewer of us can say what it actually looks like in our own lives, and fewer still manage to hold onto it once we get a taste.

People chase it constantly. Some of the routes are good for us: moving our bodies, eating well, keeping friends close, spending time with family, doing work that doesn't drain us, pouring hours into something we genuinely enjoy. Other routes only wear the costume of happiness. Alcohol, drugs, reckless gambles with your own safety, all of it can feel like relief in the moment while quietly taking something away. Lasting contentment tends to come from the choices that are good for you, not the ones that borrow against you.

Here are twenty small, healthy ways to add more happiness to your days.

Accept that nothing is perfect, including you. Letting go of flawlessness lowers the impossible bar you set for yourself and for everyone around you. And learn to laugh at your own mistakes; a missed step is often worth a grin rather than a grimace.

Hold others to human standards. Everybody slips up, so leave room for it. Then turn that same generosity inward and appreciate who you are, strengths and weak spots both. There is exactly one of you.

Keep dreams and goals in front of you. They point you somewhere. A pet can point you somewhere too, in its own way: giving affection to an animal and getting it back has a real effect on mood and motivation. The impact of a dog or cat on a person's happiness is easy to underestimate until you've felt it.

Build a support system out of family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, whoever shows up for the good stretches and the ugly ones. Then actually lean on it when things get hard. A steady circle of people offers comfort and footing when circumstances knock you sideways.

Notice when you succeed, even in small increments. A tiny win still counts, so name it. Develop a sane relationship with money while you're at it: it won't buy happiness, but it does keep life steadier, and that steadiness matters.

Simplify. Cut out the needless complications and the drama that eats your time. Managing that time well keeps things organized, and an organized life leaves more room for happiness than a chaotic one.

Try things you haven't tried. A play, an opera, some interest that caught your eye recently, follow it and see where it leads. New experiences open doors you didn't know were there. Watch for small chances to grow, too; even minor improvements keep you moving toward the next one.

Live in the moment. Staying with the here and now keeps regret and shame from dragging you backward, and it lets you actually enjoy the good moments while they're happening instead of after they're gone.

Pick up a hobby, maybe one you loved and drifted away from, or something you've always wanted to attempt. Don't let fear of failing stop you. Treat it as a chance to have fun and learn something, nothing more serious than that.

Make time for fun on purpose. The old line about all work and no play holds up. Skip pleasure entirely and you set yourself up for burnout, stress, the overwhelmed feeling that curdles into unhappiness. Do something you enjoy every day, even if it's only a few minutes.

Learn to relax. Meditation and other relaxation techniques are worth practicing, because knowing how to unwind keeps you balanced in body and mind, and balance feeds happiness.

Love yourself. Keep your self-esteem fed with self-help books, workbooks, or professional counseling if that's what helps. A sense of your own worth gives you the ground to stand on while you reach for growth.

Find your balance across the areas of your life: physical, emotional, social, financial, career or school, family, and spiritual. These areas talk to each other. Trouble in one tends to ripple into the others. Money problems, for instance, can show up as strain in your physical and emotional health at the same time. Keep the areas roughly in balance and personal growth, along with happiness, gets a lot easier to reach.

- Kim B