From Rock Bottom to Excellence

Maybe you've caught yourself wondering where your life went. You look around and the people, the plans, the sense of purpose you expected to be there just aren't. Days start to feel like they don't count for much. Those feelings usually mean you've hit what people call rock bottom. And a lot of folks assume that phrase only applies to someone struggling with addiction. That's not true. Anyone can land there.

Here's what I want you to know: if you've hit bottom and you actually want out, there's plenty you can do to climb back toward a good life. I've been there myself. My relationships fell apart, my personal life was a mess, more than I want to list. Things are different now because I made changes, real ones, and I enjoy my life again. You're capable of the same.

You don't have to stay down there. Excellence (whatever that ends up meaning for you) comes from a series of changes, not one magic flip. If you want to start living again and actually feel something good about it, you can borrow some of what worked for me and add your own on top. The one requirement is that you genuinely want it.

Start by naming where things went wrong. Before you can make healthy changes, you have to know what needs changing. Are your relationships the problem? Do you struggle to make friends, or to hold onto them? Write it all down, anything you'd want to be different. Once you can see clearly where the trouble lives, you can also see where you'd rather be heading.

Then make an actual plan for each change. A big reason people drop the changes they say they want is that they never plan them. Saying "I'd like things to be different" is not a plan. Without one, you don't know the steps, so you drift, and you give up. Write the steps down. Give yourself something concrete to follow.

Keep the reason in front of you. Going from the bottom back up to something good takes sustained effort, and effort fades when you forget why you started. On the hard days, pull out that original reason. Let it push you. Staying committed gets a lot easier when the goal still means something to you.

Work out what excellence actually means to you personally. Once you've named what to change, built your plans, and started acting on them, sit with this question: what do you want your life to contain? How do you want to feel waking up each morning? Define it. If you can't describe excellence, you'll never be able to tell whether you're living it.

So if you've been stuck at the bottom and hunting for the exit, this is the direction. You get there by working on both your mind and your body, and by knowing exactly what you're aiming for. The opportunities are already around you; you have to look for them and decide how you're going to live. Reach for it. If a plan falls flat, try the next one. Don't quit. - Cara