Encouraging Your Toddler to Learn

There's something unforgettable about the toddler years. Day after day your child picks up new things, and watching it happen is genuinely one of the better parts of parenting. They're figuring out the world, soaking up everything around them.

Language is where a lot of this shows up. The babbling of babyhood gives way to actual words, and before long those words start clumping into little phrases and sentences. It doesn't always go smoothly. Toddlers usually grasp far more than they can say back to you, and that gap between understanding and expression wears on them. The result is tears, meltdowns, and some frustration on your end too. So how do you build a solid line of communication with a kid who can't yet hold up their half of it? Here are five things that help.

Slow down. Plenty of parents hit the end of the day and can barely reconstruct what they actually did, because every bit of it got done at a sprint. When you can, ease off the gas, and use the ordinary moments to talk. Kids learn constantly: at the changing table, over meals, in the bath. Those stretches are some of their richest learning time, so talk to your child through them. And if speech is coming slowly, try slowing your own speech down. They may just be struggling to keep pace. We live surrounded by phones, screens, and TV on demand, everything quick and clipped. Dial back your pace and give your toddler room to catch up.

Get down to their level. Once you've slowed your speech so your child can follow it, physically lower yourself so you're face to face. Look at them while you talk. A child finds it much easier to concentrate on you and your words when you're in their line of sight, and being close cuts out some of the competing pull from noise, toys, and other people in the room.

Wait. Everyone now expects answers on the spot. We carry phones that fetch information about almost anything in seconds, but a toddler doesn't learn to talk that way. They need us to pause, to leave space for them to answer. Ask your child a question or ask them to do something, and then hold still. We often don't even notice how much we're doing for our kids, which means we never find out what they could manage on their own. Give them the chance.

Stop counting and start communicating. A toddler might already know shapes, colors, letters, and numbers, and that's great, but naming things isn't the same as asking for what they want or need. A kid who counts beautifully still has to learn to ask questions to get more information. At this age they're little sponges, absorbing almost everything, which makes it an exciting stretch. So rather than drilling the alphabet and the numbers for their own sake, turn those sessions into vocabulary and back-and-forth conversation. When your toddler points at something, linger on it. Say a bit about it, ask a question, then wait for the answer. Don't just count the stars with them. Talk about the stars.

Take another look at the toys. Since so much language gets built through everyday routines, it's worth going through what your child actually plays with. A couple of pointers: clear out most or all of the loud plastic gadgets that light up, talk, and play tunes. The box usually promises something like "Encourages Letter, Color and Shape Identification," but the toy is the one doing all of that, so your child gets very little out of it. Instead, lean toward simple toys that can be used in several ways for several activities. Blocks are a good example. Look for sets with shapes, letters, and numbers on them. One set of blocks can teach hand-eye coordination, stacking, and recognizing what's printed on each one.

- Erin