Create a Calmer Life by Changing Your Habits

Calm doesn't just happen. It takes effort, and the people who manage to stay steady while everything around them spins have usually built specific habits that keep frustration and stress from taking over. Watch them for a while and the patterns show up. The good news is that you can borrow those same habits, and most of them can start right now, today, with results you'll feel almost immediately.

Walking comes up again and again. People who stay calm tend to move on foot more than the average person, and there's a simple reason: a walk clears the head and loosens the body at the same time, and you need both to settle down. Pressed for time? Fold it into whatever you're already doing. Take a short walk during lunch, park at the far end of the lot, go outside when boredom hits. Once you accept how much it helps, the extra steps turn out to be easy to find.

Then there's the question of taking care of yourself, which calm people refuse to treat as optional. Eating decently, sleeping enough, exercising on some kind of regular basis: these are the foundation, and sacrificing them to hit a deadline backfires. When your body is looked after, the calm tends to arrive on its own, and you feel better emotionally as well as physically.

Notice, too, that calm people rarely rush. Rushing adds nothing of value and drags you straight out of any peaceful state you managed to reach. Look hard at your to-do list for the day. There's almost always one item you can push to tomorrow without consequence, and freeing up that bit of time gives you room to breathe. The same trick works when the day goes sideways on you, whether it's traffic that won't move or an appointment that appears from nowhere.

A dependable routine does a lot of quiet work here. Start with a morning ritual and an evening one. A set morning sequence keeps the first hours from descending into chaos; even on a tight schedule, doing things in the same order gives you something familiar to lean on. Nights work the same way. Beyond those two anchors, sit down and map out what your ordinary day actually contains. When you wake up already knowing roughly how the day will go, you spare yourself a pile of snap decisions made without time to think, and that missing pressure is what leaves you feeling loose and unhurried.

Staying in the moment matters as well. When you're fully present, you notice what's actually happening, which lets you make better choices and keep your attention on what counts. Meditation, tai chi and yoga are all ways to train this. Each one connects mind and body and nudges the two into balance, and each one teaches you to center on the present rather than chewing over some version of the future that may never arrive.

One last thing about how to begin. Since the whole point is to feel calmer, pick a single habit and start there. Overhaul your entire life at once and you'll generate exactly the chaos you were trying to escape. Choose the one that already fits how you live so the shift costs you almost nothing. If you're the active type who likes to move, start with the walking. It'll be easy, you'll enjoy it, and you won't find reasons to skip it.

Rosemary Kitchen. Source: Holmes, L. (2013). 7 Things Calm People Do Differently. Retrieved February 4, 2015.