Hans Christian King on Soul Mates and Mind Chatter
People these days obsess over the wedding dress, the idea of a soul mate, the whole vocabulary of love. They talk endlessly, yet somehow they skip the one thing that matters: the actual soul of the person sitting across from them. Slow down, whatever sort of couple you happen to be, and the truth of what you share will surface on its own. Give a real soul mate connection four or five weeks and it announces itself. You stop wondering. Thousands of people have come to me over the years and said almost the same sentence: "It feels like I'm in bed with a relative, not a lover." That happens when someone takes a soul mate who was meant to be a friend and forces that person into the role of a partner. It doesn't hold, Erik. And I think that is a big part of why so many marriages fall apart now.
Erik: What strikes me is that you're describing a common mistake. People hurry into romance with someone who should have remained a friend.
Hans: Yes, exactly that.
Erik: So how does a person recognize the difference? What does the right feeling actually feel like?
Hans: Before you can feel anything clearly, you have to get past what I call mind chatter. I said on national radio recently that human mind chatter is, to me, the most destructive force there is. It lies to us. Something like eighty percent of what runs through our heads is a wish, a want, a little prayer, or else a fear or a doubt. Hardly any of it is reality. The chatter is the voice listing everything you can't do, the person you'll supposedly never become, the reasons money will stay out of reach, the reasons you'll have to claw your way into mattering. Once you start believing that voice, you start living inside it.
What we teach is the opposite. Who you are right now, today, in this exact moment of your life, is already complete. There is nothing you could ever do to be more worthy in God's eyes than you are at this second, nothing at all. Nothing you accomplish tomorrow makes you more than you are today. Spirit didn't slip up when it made you. God made no error. In this moment, you are already whole.