10 Steps to Relieving Anxiety

Carey had a fairly ordinary life until the day it felt like something was pressing down on her chest, as if the air had been pulled out of the room. The sensation was strong enough that she went straight to the emergency room, certain something was physically wrong. Every test told a different story. Her heart was fine. Her lungs were fine. The doctor's one real suggestion was antidepressant medication, and after reading through the possible side effects she decided she wasn't willing to accept them. So she went looking for another way out. What follows are the ten things she did to bring her anxiety down on her own.

The first was acceptance. Carey stopped treating the internet like a diagnostic machine. Her words on that: searching online only tells you that you're probably dying, which is its own anxiety generator, and she suspects it was feeding a lot of hers in the first place. Instead of hunting for the correct label to put on her symptoms, she started reading stories from people who had come through the same thing. If they could get relief, she figured, there was no reason she couldn't.

Second came connection. She needed someone to talk to who wasn't wearing a white coat, and for her that person was her boyfriend. Saying how she actually felt out loud, to someone who could sit with it, mattered more than she expected. Her advice to anyone doing the same is to pick people who have been through anxiety themselves, because empathy from that place lands differently than reassurance from someone who hasn't.

The third step was getting her surroundings in order. A cluttered space kept her stress high, so she cleaned it up and started keeping a calendar to map out her days and weeks. She also began journaling. The journal did something she didn't anticipate: it gave her a record. One entry might read like there was no hope left, and an entry a week later would say she was doing much better. Looking back through those pages and seeing the distance she'd covered became its own kind of medicine.

Food was the fourth piece, and possibly the one she cared about most. She built a daily habit around it: a tall glass of ice water first thing in the morning, water throughout the day, fresh food instead of junk, and no alcohol, caffeine, or sugar. The idea was to feed her body and her mind something steady. She did carve out one exception. Chocolate, now and then, for the lift it gives.

Fifth was movement, but gently. Light jogging, yoga, breathing work, nothing that sends the heart racing. She's cautious here on purpose. Push the intensity too high too fast and the body can read that acceleration as panic, which defeats the point.

Her sixth step was to pull her attention somewhere other than the anxiety itself. A bubble bath settles her every time. When things get really bad, her routine is a bubble bath, Netflix, and a cup of chamomile tea. She also leans on community service, which turns the focus outward and quiets her own stress in the process.

The seventh step is the boldest. Carey decided to stop letting anxiety pick her moves for her. If fear of a panic attack was telling her to stay home, she went out anyway. The way she sees it, if you're afraid of the thing it rules you, and if you walk straight at it you take the power back. She promises it works. She also learned to play with the feeling rather than brace against it. When panic starts climbing, she tells her body to crank it up, to produce as much anxiety as it possibly can, and then she waits to see what actually happens. Nothing does. Anxiety, she says, is a bully that's all mouth. Approached that way, it can't touch you.

Eighth is structure. Working out or doing yoga in the morning, eating at the same times, bathing at the same times, all of it builds a sense of order that anxiety has trouble getting a grip on. The evening matters just as much. A calming wind-down ritual, maybe that chamomile tea again, helps her body understand that it's time to sleep.

Ninth, she insists on being around people. Build friendships with people you trust, laugh, love, play, and the anxiety loosens its hold. Going out dancing is one of her favorites. It burns energy, it's fun, it relaxes her. Get dressed up in something that makes you feel good, flirt a little, enjoy yourself.

The tenth step is spiritual. Carey puts her trust in God and reminds herself that anxiety runs on fear. For her, faith and strength and confidence outweigh any panic that shows up. Fear, she says, is like anything else in the world that's trying to control you. Don't hand it the controls. Have faith, and you'll beat it.

To protect her privacy, she's called Carey here. The original account was written by an anonymous contributor.