Anger: The Day Before My Wedding

Resentment behaves like a wound that keeps opening. Give it enough days, weeks, or months and it will quietly wear a person down. People do hurt us with their words and their choices, and plenty of us struggle to face the ones who caused the damage, but letting those bitter feelings take up residence in the heart does more harm to us than to anyone else.

The night before my wedding, everything was in place. All I had to do was go home and wait for the morning. At the time I shared an apartment with a close friend who would stand as my Maid of Honor, and the two of us could hardly contain our excitement. The plan was simple. In the morning we would carry the luggage downstairs, a relative would come with his truck and take it all to my new home, and then we would head into town, meet the bridesmaids, get our hair done, and continue on to my parents' house to prepare.

I packed my wedding gown with great care, along with everything else we would need, and we hauled it all downstairs to wait for the ride. Hours went by. No truck, no phone call, nothing. Eventually we decided my Maid of Honor should go ahead into town to collect the other bridesmaids and bring them home, rather than make the whole group sit around waiting on us.

So she left, and I stayed with the bags. More hours slipped past with no word from anyone. By then I was tired and hungry and stuck. I couldn't walk off and leave the luggage on the street, since it held my gown, the bridesmaid dresses, and our travel documents, and I had no way to drag all of it back upstairs by myself.

By the afternoon the street had emptied out. Most people were already at work. I kept turning the same question over: how was I supposed to get these bags back inside? I will admit I was fuming at that point, and part of me wanted to march indoors, eat something, sleep, and write the whole day off. Right as I was about to give up, the truck finally pulled up.

I climbed in and started doing the math on how long it would take to reach where I needed to be, but then the driver turned off toward my in-laws' house for reasons I didn't understand. My frustration kept climbing. When we arrived, the truck owner's wife came over and seemed startled to see me there. She made a few sideways remarks and wanted to know what I was possibly doing at my in-laws' place. I said nothing and let it pass. I found out afterward that she had been quarreling with someone else entirely that morning and was taking it out on me over something that had no connection to me at all. I was relieved I hadn't snapped back.

My instinct was to get out, walk to the bus stop, and make my own way home. As I started off, some of the in-laws standing outside saw me leaving and came after me. Out of respect for my elders, I stopped to hear them. They told me they understood what had gone wrong and swore they would do whatever it took to get me home. One of them brought a car around and drove me back. I was worn out, hungry, drained.

On that drive I had half decided to announce that the wedding was canceled. Instead I chose to put it down. I forgave everyone for whatever had caused the odd string of delays that day, because there was no reason to carry anger into one of the biggest days of my life.

When I walked through the door, I found friends, family, and neighbors already gathered to celebrate the coming wedding. I wasn't going to let my own anger cheat me out of time with the people I loved. That was the day I actually practiced forgiveness, steering my attention toward what would bring me joy and away from what would feed my bitterness. The wedding itself became one of the happiest days I have known, and I am grateful I managed to set those hard feelings down the night before so I could step fully into the next morning.

- Anonymous Contributor